Types of BDSM plays

Humiliation can be very sexy and enjoyable in BDSM context. There are a lot of plays intended to make partners experience the pleasure of being humiliated or being the one who humiliates.

Often humiliation becomes a source of erotic satisfaction to those partners who know each other quite good as these types of play are intimate. It is important to note that what one sub will find highly arousing, another would consider unpleasant. That's why it is worth discussing the likes and dislikes beforehand.

For a submissive partner the pleasure of humiliation is derived through the feeling of freeing from inhibitions. During the scene sub can face the dark side of his nature and through humiliation one experiences a psychological release.

For a sub, a humiliation gives an opportunity to relieve of the burden of the social role he or she plays in everyday life. Sub may no longer feel responsible for anything as dom is in control of all his actions.

For a dominant partner, humiliation is a way to experience the heights of his power and control. A dom becomes an owner of the sub, when he is the one to decide what a sub should do, how he should respond and express his submission.

1. There are many ways to make humiliation a part of the session. One of the most common types of play is turning a person into a pet, like a dog or a pony. A dom can order his pet to crawl on the floor, to eat the food from the bowl just like dogs do and attach a collar to his neck to follow his master.
2. Exposing sub's body parts for inspection is another arousing activity for humiliation play. You can tie up the sub and use various sex toys or other objects to make your sub feel used.
3. Humiliation often involves the verbal expression, like calling a sub by various pet names like a "dog "or "pet", or names like "slut", "faggot", "bitch". Indeed, verbal humiliation is very powerful and can bring intense sensations for both sub and dom.
4. A dom can use his power to limit sub's needs, asking the sub to ask for permission to eat or to go to the toilet. Those subs who want to experience something more may derive pleasure if their dom will ejaculate, spit or urinate on them. The humiliation feels more intense when one of this actions is done on a sub's face.
5. Another common play is called foot stool, when a sub plays a role of the stool to rest dom's feet on it. Being the object of his dom, a sub is absolutely helpless and vulnerable. Usually, the head and limbs of the sub are restricted using bondage devices, blindfolders, gags and other toys that will make your sub an object and deprive him from any sensations.
6. Some doms like to use orgasm denial for humiliation, when a sub is not allowed to experience pleasure until a dom gives the permission. A dom can ask a sub to masturbate in front of him and watch it until he restricts sub's limbs to decide when the permission would be acceptable.

Becoming a true dominatrix may require a lot of skills, confidence and responsibility. For many women, their dominant role is an expression of her deepest desires and embodiment of her real sexuality. You might have thought about trying this role but do not know where to begin. First of all you should learn how to control your submissive so that you and your sub can get the utmost pleasure.

Exercise true confidence

Becoming a domina means that you will embody a woman in power who knows what she wants and never hesitates. Remember that you set the rules and the scene, while sub is following your directions. You cannot be wrong or ask for permission. Give short orders in assertive and demanding voice. Keep in mind that true domina is strict but protective. She inflicts pain to make her sub get the pleasure.

Get to know safety issues

Whatever practice you choose: medical play, spanking, cock torture or orgasm denial always make sure you have taken all the precautions and know how to use the tools for any play. You are responsible for your sub's safety that's why it is especially important to discuss all the issues regarding your interaction with a sub beforehand. If you are not sure about some practice, better leave it until you will feel more confident. Check the time sub spends in restraint, look after sub's breath and skin coloration and be especially careful during edge play. Always have some emergency tools handy so that you can release sub when needed. Establish a safe word.

Learn how to control

Do not let your sub object to your orders or suggest you something during the scene. You may discuss all the issues before or after the scene. You should make your sub realize that obedience is the only way to get your attention. You can ask your sub any questions and expect him/her to answer you. Remember that your sub has to earn your reward and has to follow all your orders. You have different places in the scene so show your sub-his/her place and his limits.
Be consistent in your orders so that they won't sound contradictory. Be firm and prepared to difficult situations if any should occur.

Set the scene

Direct a scene from the start to the finish so that you both will have enough time to derive the fullest pleasure. Make sure there are no distractions. Let your sub know what you want, what position you want him/her to take and what sub should do to win your attention.
Your visual appeal has a great impact on your sub, so try to dress like a real domina. Of course, it's a matter of your taste to wear latex or leather, boots or corsets, just make sure you feel confident in your attire and enjoy looking at yourself as much as your sub is going to worship you. Your sub is supposed to wear as little as possible and you may even ask him/her to undress completely so that to make your sub feel more helpless.

Work on your technique

Make practice frequently and read a lot of information on the technique you are going to use. Test the toys on yourself to know how to use it on a sub. If it is spanking, you should learn how to hold the flogger properly and what position to choose and what body parts are safe for spanking. All this information is essential to make you more self-assured during practice.

Breast bondage is one of the most popular plays a doms use to satisfy their subs. Breasts are source of sexual pleasure, with a lot of nerve endings especially for women, which explains why it became one of the favorite techniques used in bondage.

Besides, with the subconscious meaning of the breasts as nourishment, giving the additional psychological appeal of total female submissiveness.

Breast bondage means tying up or/and torturing the breasts for sexual pleasure. Breast bondage is practiced for different reasons, but mostly for:

• dom's appreciation of the sub's helplessness
• sexual stimulation of sub's breasts
• bring the focus on sub's state of submissiveness

There are numerous techniques meant for breasts torture including, nipple clamps, breast paddling, pinching, biting, piercing and of course breast bondage.

Safety during Breast Bondage

1. Duration of Breast Bondage

The time required for breast bondage varies according to the intensity of stimulation, the materials used for bondage, Breasts and nipples are very sensitive that's why safety measures are very important. It is generally not advisable to make breast bondage lasts for more than an hour.

2. Breast appearance

Normally, breasts can become a bit swollen and red when they are tightened during bondage. It is common to feel some discomfort at the beginning. But be careful if you see the breasts becoming blue or numb and release your partner as soon as possible.

Basic Breast Bondage technique

There are a lot of different techniques to use during breast bondage. Usually, breast bondage is meant for visual appeal and the enhancement of the sensations for a sub. Most often breast bondage is performed with the help of rope but you may as well use some other BDSM toys like leather harness or bondage tape. Ropes look around breasts create intricate patterns and look extremely attractive.

Breast bondage can serve for an aesthetic purpose as well as essential part of suspension.

1. Double the rope of and run it around under the breasts.
2. Run the end through the loop at the back.
3. Continue wrapping the rope above the breasts and end at the back again, pulling the end through the formed loop.
4. Secure the loop by putting a fixating knot.
5. Then move the end over the shoulder to the down wrap and pull it under it over the other shoulder to the back.
6. When you come to the back again, fix the end through the existing loop. This is one of the basic breast bondage techniques. You can then fantasize and add some other elements to this harness.

For example a common practice for breast bondage is to tie up the rope around the base of each breasts which make them look more outstanding. This technique is more fit for women with voluptuous breasts though. Your fantasy and safety is your only limit.

Bondage toys are meant for restriction of the sub's movements and may range from simple rope to complicated devices like sleepsacks, cages and suspension devices, masks and others.

Very often bondage toys are used to perform punishment thus playing the role of immobilization for better performance.

Before you even begin using bondage toy, it is necessary to know basic safety measures as fixation of certain body parts with the help of different devices and bondage toys often leads to blood flow restriction. It is recommended to make session last no more than two hours.

Ropes

Ropes are effective for tight bondage but is not recommended for light bondage that leaves some space for movements. Rope bondage often leaves marks and friction that may feel pain. If you want to use rope for restriction, you will need to learn some basic ways to tie knots so that a sub may feel quite comfortable. There are different rope materials you can choose from such as cotton and nylon being most commonly used.
You should take care to leave some space when tying up your partner and have several winds of rope to spread the pressure. It is also better to have scissors to cut the rope when necessary.

Bondage tape

Bondage tape is often used by beginners and is considered quite good for tying up your partner as it leaves no marks. If you use a tape that sticks to your skin, you may need to use a film to cover your body or use it over the clothes. Bondage tape doesn't get tighter thus it can be used if you practice bondage for the first time. Also bondage tape can be used for many purposes: you may restrict your limbs or blindfold your partner, or use it for mummifying.

Handcuffs and ankle cuffs

These are effective and comfortable bondage toys designed specially for BDSM games. Handcuffs and ankle cuffs are easy to put on and take off and keep sub in a necessary position.
The common materials hand/ ankle cuffs are made of are metal and leather. metal cuffs require some care due to the fact that cuffs edges may cut circulation and cause some damage to the skin.

Shackles

Cuffs, collars and belts with a chain are used to restrain sub's movements within some room or when you keep your sub in certain place for punishment. Chains often substitute the shackles and are easy to lead your sub but may feel uncomfortable.

Cages

Cages are meant for discipline and bondage and is effective for restricting the movement. You can keep several subs in a cage at the same time. Usually metal cages are practices by experienced BDSM partners as a part of a game where you can punish your sub for extended period of time.
Cages are made of different sizes, which allows you to use it for more or less restriction.

Spreader bars

Spreader bars are used for bondage, suspension and other games. It often looks like a bar having restraints on both sides where you can attach other devices like suspension ropes and chains.

Usually, spreader bars are worn on the wrists or on the legs, depending on what part of the body you wish to get in your full control. For example, when you place a spreader bar on your sub's legs it keeps them wide apart which is very convenient for sexual play with sub's genital area.

Whipping is one of the most erotic encounters for S/M partners. Punishment that is performed by whipping can be made in many ways-it could be a teasing foreplay or a whole well-thought scene. However, whipping is not only the process of whipping, but also the whole ritual that involves communication with your partner. It's not that you take out the whip and place it at your sub's bottom. The words you say, the manner you whip and the outfit may all create the necessary atmosphere for sexual arousal.

Of course, a thought-out scene with well the participants dressed and prepared is more appealing than spanking itself. A sub dress so that to expose his bottom to the dom. In order to fix the sub, you may handcuff him or her and tie up the feet.

You may begin the scene with punishing your sub verbally, telling him about his crimes and faults. You can emphasize how you are going to punish him. You can torture your sub making him wait for the whipping. If he also knows the whipping will be hard the fearful anticipation can increase the pleasure for two. You may then show your slave a whip, taking time for him to imagine the process. Gliding the tails of the whip along sub's back and teasing him between the legs is one of the best ways to turn him on.

Whipping process can be very methodical-it's usually the best when made in rhythm. You can count load the number of lashes telling him about his faults.

After scene is very important too. You can hug, calm down and kiss him protectively, making him know you are his master and no one loves and cares about him more than you do.

One of the most interesting BDSM plays remains self-bondage when you restrain yourself with the help of ropes or other devices for a certain period of time. Self-bondage is useful when you don't have a trustworthy partner but are also good for partner's sessions. Those who practice self-bondage have a good opportunity to practice restraining techniques and immovability for a long period.

One of the biggest issues for self-bondage is safety and learning the methods for release especially when you don't have anyone to help you. The basic things you need to prepare for self-bondage are:

• time limit
• method of release
• safety

Time limit

Time limit is set for safety and pleasure reasons. The self-bondage session may last from some half an hour, several hours to several days (which is not recommended) thats why it's important to evaluate how long do you plan to spend in bondage. The time limit is introduced by many ways, and you can also invent your own way to escape after bondage.

Some time limit tips:

Ice cube and the keys

The idea is to freeze the keys in the ice cube so that to unlock the restrain later. The only possibility to escape the bondage then will be to wait till the ice cube melts away.

The distance

Another way to set the time is to place the release tool in a place that requires some time to retrieve it. You can put it in the box in one of the rooms or hidden in a place that is difficult to reach.

Have the release tool delivered

You may ask someone you trust to bring you the keys or other device to your place in certain time in an envelope.

Release method

Caution is very important to make sure this session won't be the last. First of all the session is usually planned beforehand. The way you are going to free yourself may vary depending on your imagination and safety precautions, but it's highly advisable to have some tools handy always like a knife and scissors under the pillow. Of course having a partner nearby is of great help in self bondage cause then you can be more sure of your safety.

Safety

Self-bondage is considered to be quite dangerous as if a person stays completely alone there is a greater risk. You should be either very confident and think over every detail especially about release or at least have someone to help you.

1. Avoid extreme restrain – if you are trying self-bondage for the first time it's better to begin with simple technique where you can escape easily.
2. Try no t to use collars, gags and other devices that can restrict circulation on very sensitive areas or block breathing.
3. Have several methods of release so that in case one method fails you can use another.
4. Check if nothing in the place you plan a session can cause potential harm, like gas stove or electric devices.

Adoring one‛s feet is very common not only among BDSM lovers but also among vanilla partners. According to the statistics it‛s the most wide-spread fetish among men. You won‛t get the answer why feet become an object of your sexual attraction as it‛s just an excitement that is hard to explain. However for those who never tried it, foot worship seems to be weird or unusual. In fact foot fetish is not only an admiration of one‛s feet but the only way to derive sexual satisfaction. For BDSM lovers foot fetish always is an expression of dominant-submissive relationships. Kissing one‛s feet often was a way to show your ultimate submission to your master.

Foot fetish may include all range of practices – to put it simple feet become the central point and e pleasure to see, to touch, to smell and to taste. If you are a foot fetishist you will most likely pay attention to the slightest details of the shape and nail color, the feeling and the look of the skin, the foot "outfit". That‛s why certain preparation is often required in order to make feet attractive .

How to prepare for foot fetish

Foot care

Tanned feet look more appealing as small defects become not so evident, and the skin itself is softer and smoother.

Daily care is necessary to make every inch of this precious body part look erotic. If your partner is going to explore your feet, he or she is going to look through every little detail and use his mouth and tongue to savor the pleasure. It‛s very important for him to see the perfectly looking feet. Foot baths, nail care on a regular basis will provide the good state of your feet.

Foot smell

The smell of women‛s feet is extremely arousing for foot fetishist. The most pleasant smell is in the mornings after awakening especially if you slept with cotton socks. But the most intense and sexually appealing are feet that are dressed in stockings and leather shoes. Warm feet are also very nice to smell. Many first-timers mistakenly wash their feet right before the session, which is not right as this makes feet colder and make them taste with soap, depriving the foot lovers from the natural smell and taste of the feet. It‛s better to wash feet in advance and then put on the cotton socks or stockings.

Foot adornment

Stockings make feet look amazingly sexy, together with high-heeled shoes this makes every domina irresistible. You may of course put on some jewelry or metal rings to add to the sensations. You partner can lick your feet and taste the leather or metal to make your session even hotter.

Foot job

Giving your partner foot job is the best thing to reach the highest peak of pleasure. Foot fetishist doesn‛t only urge to taste the foot, to kiss and lick every curve of the foot, he also will greatly appreciate you stroking his penis or anus with your feet. Excercising feet like picking up small objects from the floor, squeezing toes and other movements are very useful to make your feet more flexible improving your feet skills.

While you study different aspects of , you find a lot of activities arousing and interesting. With every other play you try you realize a true meaning and reality of the kinky way to relate with your partner. With every limit you break, you discover something new and absolutely unconventional. What seemed harsh and absolutely out of this world, may in fact turn out to be your favorite one in the end. But the question that usually arises is more about "how far can you go or let it go".



Talking about the edge play, one should put it right to himself whether he or she is ready for experience that is basically balancing between the life and death either physically or psychologically.



In reality, the border of what is acceptable for you in terms of S/M experience may not only vary from one person to another but also from one scene to further experiences. Of course, every person has it's own borderline and what seems very risky for one may become a slight tickle for another. In S/M practice an edge play is usually defined as:



Breath play - a form of restricting one's breath with the help of different techniques and devices.



Blood play - a play that involves intentional cutting, canning and other activities. Blood play can be particularly an exciting experience for those who get aroused on sight, smell or taste of blood.



Fire play - a play that is mainly about creating a burning sensations for a while with the use of materials that can be burned on one's body or hot wax, fire cupping and others.



Scat fetishism- a play that involves activities with human excrements, like defecating on your partner's body parts or eating feces.



Of course, these are not the only forms of plays that can be considered on the edge - on the edge of your inner limits or physical boundaries, but they surely beat the list of the "heavy" experiences. It is important to know that there cannot be another chance to try it once again if you take no account of safety rules.



Another thing is about actually finding a partner who you 'll be able to entrust your safety or to be more precise, your life(isn't it romantic?) or on the other side to take a great responsibility.



Safe words that are used in one scene may not work their best in the edge play. As most edge plays do not allow a person to move or utter any words, the should be a room for alternative ways to let the other side know where to stop. So there should be a secure method to provide an escape for a sub.



You may ask- why on earth you need to play on the edge? It's risky, it's life-threatening and it's scary. All this is true. But those who took the chance - know that edge play can turn all your vision of life and emotions upside down, when you touch the ground but later feel like flying.



Surely, edge play requires great guts and self-confidence you needn't approach it like "let's try and see what happens". Taking into account fatal cases are frequent among hundreds of edge lovers in America, and the fact that almost all of them were a result of auto-erotic stimulation gives some food for thought. That's why a reliable partner becomes extremely important in these circumstances. In case a very serious problem arises - your partner is the one who will apply first aid understand your subtle signals and react immediately.

One of the most challenging BDSM practices for a man is orgasm denial – a deliberate refusal for the climax and keeping yourself or your partner in a state of high arousal without "letting the steam off".



Orgasm denial can be a part of usual session, with one person dominating the other with the help of continuous denial to give the desired and long-waited orgasm. Here main principle of all orgasm denial practices is to get you partner to the height of sexual excitement and linger on this state as long as possible, giving a release only when frustration reaches its highest peak or not giving at all.



Why is orgasm denial so appealing? First of all, let's remember the old truth: nothing in this world is more desirable than things that are unattainable. The same with orgasm denial: you show a "sweet thing", you promise it can be so great, you beckon him and then...you cut it off, but not that sudden. You take you time to let this game going on and leave your sub unaware of the outcome.



Second, for a "victim side" - orgasm denial game requires a good deal of self-discipline together with feelings of frustration and tension. Though such a futility can be quite tough to resist, sexual satisfaction obtained through such denial is far more powerful and overwhelming than after a usual intercourse where tension finds its natural release.







Thirdly, for a dom it becomes a perfect control tool over the sub. A top partner may ask almost anything in order to get what he wants. As long as orgasm becomes an award the same way as drug addict wants for an essential fix-up, a dom possesses an unlimited power.



So what ways can you choose to make your partner beg for cuming?



One of the most popular gears in BDSM practice is chastity devices: chastity belts and cages. All of them prevent their wearer from the possibility to have an intercourse or any kind of self-stimulation. This is a real torment for a man when he is all-way aroused but unable to have a full-fledged erection and ejaculation.



Another BDSM toys that can be used for this purpose are old-fashioned restraining devices: handcuffs, spreader bars, bondage tape and others. They will not only give a man possibility to ejaculate it will not allow him to find another way to lessen sexual excitement.



All in all you have a wide variety of things to try with or without any special devices, the main thing is to prolong orgasm and to choose whether to tell your bottom about the outcome of the game and desired climax. Tease element is quite essential to make game go on in any direction. It adds excitement to the game with the element of unpredictability and besides it exercises your bottoms tolerance.

Sensory deprivation is quite popular play – not that tough and scary as it may seem from the outside. So why is sensory deprivation play so exciting?

For me, however strange it may sound this type of game was a kind of sensual one. Sensory deprivation may include such activities as blindfolding, gagging, ear plugging and many other things to restrict your partner's senses.

In fact sensory deprivation is giving you even more sensual acuteness and awareness and I will explain why. How often are you in touch with your feelings and senses? You may have tried various sexual practices, but none of them can give you so many enhancements as in a situation where you are deprived of these sensations. Just imagine how would it feel like if you were denied to eat: the hunger will increase and after you get what you want your appetite becomes greater. The same with sensory deprivation - you have all your impressions intensified.

Another turn-on of a sensory deprivation play is the feeling of the upcoming excitement. Besides things that happen sudden drive our sexual impulses greater than those we are able to predict. Not knowing what is going to happen next is giving that very pleasant itching down there which is called anticipation.



In sensory deprivation you can try step-by-step exploration or you may give your partner a full-body deprivation.



Blindfolding and handcuffs usually come as a classic set not only for BDSM lovers but for vanilla partners as well. It's easy, it's not painful and can well go as an appetizer for those who make their first steps in BDSM practice.



If you are already quite familiar with those quite innocent tricks, you may experiment with deprivation of several senses, like (sight and hearing, feel and sight, hearing and sight) or with all of them at once. The more senses are restricted –the more helpless and vulnerable submissive feels and the more control a dominant has over him.



When you need to add more of humiliating feelings you may use devices meant to block most of the sensations, i.e. hoods, masks and body suits designed for this purpose. Some dislike the idea of using hoods as they may consider it not so aesthetic but it certainly is somewhat more intense and fulfilling in terms of needs.