› Finding a partner

A natural problem that comes to most who just enter the realities of BDSM activity ( ) is finding an appropriate partner. Even with the availability of internet resources where you can privately browse through dozens of suggestion of all sorts, making a thoughtful choice becomes extremely topical within the realms of such meetings.



If you think that all that is needed can be explained in a list of your preferences - you are absolutely mistaken. The same as vanilla relationship, BDSM one is also based on principles which are far more important because in most cases we are talking about activity that borders on safety. Even talking about a single session, the interactions between the partners take place not only on physical level but a lot on emotional as well. It not just-" I want someone to spank me- give me the one", it's more like - I want to find a partner to submit to, which in fact doesn't happen automatically. We should also keep in mind that BDSM relationships need certain trust and it takes some time to get familiar with each other and meet each other's needs. You don't simply give in the responsibility to someone - you choose a person -you want to give in power to find that connection. Undeniably, there are certain rules you should follow while you are in search for a partner:

Trying paces

Before you may get into real trouble, you should ask more about the group you are going to enter. If it's an online community, then greater care should be taken in order to make all the information clear. It may be useful to get acquainted with some members to find out their opinion. As usually these places are kept in secret, you must learn the ways to contact members discretely.

Online meeting

Certainly there are a lot of advantages about finding a partner on the internet: you have a wide choice, you may more thoroughly get to know each other before actually meeting. In some places you may be asked to leave some personal information, like e-mail, name and address. You should know that it's not necessary and even advisable not to do it. If you treasure your privacy and safety, you first check out and make sure things are not troubled and then go for whatever practice your body urges you to get involved.

How is a real meeting organized?

It's more preferable to arrange a first meeting in a public place. There is no need to explain that suggestion shouldn't sound like a person's house or some suspicious backyard room. It's also not a good idea to meet tet-a-tet on a first meeting. It may sound as if bad things can never happen to you, but in reality there are a lot of cases when such meetings resulted in fatal consequences. Always have a safe way-out to detach from a suspicious person. Don't judge a possible partner by a mere online chat - get his phone number or any other sources of information like address or contacts from the place where he works.

Have a backup

This shouldn't sound like an ultimate deterrent, but nevertheless you cannot ignore the possibility that a stranger you met out there may turn out to be a sick maniac who doesn't give a damn about any SSC principles or your kinky plans on Friday evening but simply feels like butchering some silly "weirdo." That's why you should have someone to keep connection with (either a friend or a family member) and inform about the time and place you are going to visit.