I often asked myself what a man searches in female partner in BDSM relationships? There can be different reasons why we choose a partner to be a top or a bottom. Particularly, it seems to me that there are a lot more men who need dominant women. Why? Many probably would deny and tell that they like to be a boss, but is it really so? The thing is through many centuries a social role prescribed a man to be powerful, responsible and assertive, which is actually quite difficult to keep up with. The everyday pressure at work or in family life supports the image of masculine man. Feminine men have more chances to be rejected than masculine women. That's the fact - social pressure is still more demanding towards men. So this situation urges a man to search for a balance and where can he find the outlet? Surely, in intimate life. As I always considered BDSM practice ( ) to be equally (or even more) a mental stimulation and sexual need, dominant woman is a source of giving up that burden a man is used to live with.
And what about a submissive woman? What kind of man would choose a submissive obedient woman? I think here the situation is quite the opposite. I suppose that a man who is used to feel more oppressed in his daily life, less assure of himself or probably finding it difficult to relate with a woman in a courtship manner. Or it may be otherwise a situation that a man is really strong and protecting who needs to have undeniable total power over a woman, but this is not really a frequent case.
On the other hand, women by nature are said to be submissive, which implies there should be more femsubs searching for male dom partner. This contradicts with the prevalence of male subs in BDSM community. So isn't it surprising many women end up in a femdom with femsub relationships
